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    March 27

    Wat use to be




    I wonder if he remembers me

    Or if I'm just a memory

    I wonder if he thinks of us

    Or if he finds it useless

    I wonder how things would be

    If he had never left me

    I wonder how he is

    And if I'm still a love of his

    I think about him everyday

    And wonder if he's okay

    I think about how happy we were

    And the memories make the tears stir

    I think about the plans we made

    While we were laying in the shade

    I think about all we said

    And the lives we lead

    To not know

    Where to go

    To not know where to find

    A place where he may hide

    To not be able to see his face

    Puts my heart so out of place

    To not know when he's near

    Is my greatest fear

    There's so much in my head

    That I wish I'd said

    There's so many missed kisses

    For my unanswered wishes

    There's only so many ways

    For me to make it through the days

    There's so little light

    In my heart tonight

    What would I say

    If given a day

    What would happen

    If I could have him

    What joy it would bring

    To hear him sing

    What would I feel

    If he were here for real

    I miss him each day

    That he is away

    I miss him looking out for me

    The way it used to be

    I miss his love

    That protected me like a glove

    I miss him

    So much it's made my heart dim

    I wonder if he still cares

    That's a question that tears

    I wonder what he's like

    If he'd tell me to take a hike

    I wonder if he fears

    That I don't hold him dear

    But most of all

    I wonder if he still loves me

    Or if I'm just a memory

    Of what used to be
     
     
    to all those who miss there loves , who cry for memorys of wat use to be
    3:48 PM | Add a comment | Permalink | Blog it | poems
    October 19

    you dont know...

    You don't know what it's like to feel despair,
    Until you've spent a day in my shoes.
    You don't know what it's like to feel pain,
    Until you have been beat by your loved ones.
    You don't know what it's like to feel torment,
    Until you've listened to the demons in my head.
    You don't know what it's like to feel dejection,
    Until you have walked alone.
    You don't know what it's like to feel agony,
    Until you've held the gun to your head.
    You don't know what it's like to feel cruelty,
    Until you have been laughed at.
    You don't know what it's like to feel misery,
    Until you stand on the ledge to debate the jump.
    You don't know what it's like to feel hopelessness,
    Until you have been me.

    6:54 PM | Add a comment | Read comments (1) | Permalink | Blog it | poems

    let me die



    There she sits so helpless
    Just waiting for that special day
    The day she set aside
    When she'll take her life away

    Up until that day
    She'll screw her life up more
    Taking all the drugs
    And cutting like before

    Stories of her messed up life
    Are written on her skin
    Keeping count of all the times
    The knife just tends to win

    Scarlet scars upon her wrists
    Tell of all the times
    She tried to go but something
    Stopped her suicidal crimes

    Her blood shot eyes tell of all
    The countless times she's cried
    She has no more tears to cry
    So her end she will decide

    As that day comes around
    When her 'precious' life she'll take
    She'll bring up all the pain inside
    And one more cut she'll make

    Never will she stop to think
    Of all the people she will miss
    You can call it 'ignorance'
    But ignorance is bliss

    As she starts to think about
    The story of her life
    She wants to end if faster
    Just to end all her strife

    She curls up in the corner
    And she begins to cry
    All the while voices whisper
    Just f u c k ing go and die

    Mascara tears leak from her eyes
    And stain her pale, white face
    Trailing down her satin cheeks
    Depression's line they trace

    She sinks her nails down in her arm
    As she begins to shake
    Substituting physical pain
    For the pain from her heart ache

    As she slowly falls apart
    She starts to crave her blade
    She takes it out and wastes no time
    To add to the cuts she's made

    She drags the blade along her skin
    As she watches the blood pour out
    She feels control run through her body
    And the voices cease to shout

    She puts away her razor blade
    With no sign of regret
    She knows that she will do it again
    For the pain she can't forget

    As she starts to breathe again
    And her shaking finally stops
    Her weak and fragile body goes
    To her bed and drops

    Her eyes begin to slowly close
    As she thinks about that day
    Where all her struggles end as soon
    As she takes her life away
    6:33 PM | Add a comment | Permalink | Blog it | poems
    October 15

    I wanna go back

    that poem is for a very spical person... i just wanted to say :

    I MISS U ... I MISS THE PAST TIME...

     

    I want to go back to the times when thing were right when we could hang out and never fight
    when we showed eachother how much we cared and promised eachother we always be there
    I wanna go back to the times when I could call you just to say good-night
    And I wanna go back to the times when I could hug and kiss you all night

    8:10 PM | Add a comment | Read comments (2) | Permalink | Blog it | poems
    October 14

    What Love Is About


    It was something I was searching for,
    It was something I had found.
    It was something I lost,
    And it knocked me to the ground.

    If it's really meant to be,
    then it will always last.
    If it isn't meant to be,
    then it leaves pretty fast.

    It makes you get lost,
    yet it helps you find your way.
    it makes you get tounge tied,
    but helps you find the words to say.

    It gives you butterflies,
    hurt you? it may.
    but when it's there it keeps you smiling
    each and every day.

    It brings hope,
    and it brings fear.
    But you are never afraid,
    when that special one is near.

    When it's gone,
    you'll feel pain.
    But learning to love
    has just been gained.

    It's about giving your heart
    without a single doubt.
    You're there from start to end...
    that's what love is about
    11:18 PM | Add a comment | Read comments (1) | Permalink | Blog it | poems
    October 07

    missing u

    I DON'T SMILE LIKE I USED TO,
    OR LAUGH LIKE I DID BEFORE
    ALL I KNOW IS THAT MY LIFE HAS CHANGED,
    AND NOW I HATE IT EVEN MORE

    EVERY LITTLE THING,
    REMINDS ME OF US TWO
    LIKE WHEN THEY PLAY OUR SONG,
    I CAN'T HELP BUT THINK OF YOU

    AND WHEN I SEE YOUR FACE,
    IT JUST REMINDS ME OF THE PAST
    BOTH THE GOOD AND BAD MEMORIES,
    MAKE ME WISH THAT IT COULD LAST

    BUT YOU DON'T EVEN CARE,
    YOU JUST MOVE ON WITH EACH DAY
    YOU DON'T EVEN TAKE A SECOND GLANCE,
    2 MAKE SURE THAT I'M OKAY

    EVERY SINGLE NIGHT,
    I CAN'T HELP BUT LET TEARS FALL
    EVEN THOUGH YOU HURT ME,
    I STILL WISH FOR YOUR PHONE CALL

    I REALLY DON'T KNOW THE REASON,
    BUT YOUR FOREVER ON MY MIND
    I TRY SO HARD TO HATE YOU,
    BUT NOTHING BUT SWEETNESS DO I FIND

    WHY DID YOU MAKE ME LOVE YOU?
    IF IT WAS NOTHING BUT A LIE
    I JUST WISH THAT I NEVER SAID HELLO,
    SO THEN, I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SAY GOODBYE

    YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND AT ALL,
    BECAUSE TO YOU IT WAS A GAME
    I BET IN A FEW YEARS OR MORE,
    YOU WON'T EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME

    TO ME IT'S SAD,
    HOW I THOUGHT THAT IT WAS TRUE
    HOW I WASTED SO MUCH TIME,
    WHEN ALL ALONG SHE WAS WITH YOU

    NOW THAT IT'S OVER,
    AND YOU'RE WITH HER
    I AM LEFT HERE HEARTBROKEN,
    AND WHAT TO DO I'M NOT SURE
    2:05 AM | Add a comment | Read comments (2) | Permalink | Blog it | poems